Thursday, August 6, 2015

Am I still gay?

Can you ever believe it's been nearly 4 years since I've decided being gay isn't for me?

So much has changed. I've seen things so clear.
Alot of tears, sweat and heartache

And the question remains,  Am I still gay?
Am I attracted to other women?
Do I flirt with women?
Do I some days dream of my ultimate lesbian sexual experience?
Do I think a relationship with a woman will be easier or safer?

Uhm... Frankly I do all the things above

But
Am I still gay?
No, I still believe it's a boundary issue
I still believe that alot of people will realise they in the wrong type of relationship
I do believe hedrosexual relationships are difficult and complicated, but alot less than gay relationships.

I will not go back to a gay relationship to feel safe, or to feel loved, or as a last resort

I hope more people will realise the world is bigger than that





Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Door

We all know that door,that really should stay close but...
Today, I'm standing infront of a door like that
Behind this mysterious door I can hear a old boyfriend Knocking

Should I?
Uhm shouldn't I

As eager as I was to dump him 10 years ago I would really like to meet him again
It would be like to meet him for the first time
But
Will he be truthful,  old habits die hard
Will he be broken, like I am
Could it be meant to be?

So,  I'm standing with the handle in my hand

This door will be a cross road
Smiling,  clinching the key in the other