Door

We all know that door,that really should stay close but...
Today, I'm standing infront of a door like that
Behind this mysterious door I can hear a old boyfriend Knocking

Should I?
Uhm shouldn't I

As eager as I was to dump him 10 years ago I would really like to meet him again
It would be like to meet him for the first time
But
Will he be truthful,  old habits die hard
Will he be broken, like I am
Could it be meant to be?

So,  I'm standing with the handle in my hand

This door will be a cross road
Smiling,  clinching the key in the other

standing still

At a end of a road, noticing you slipping away
Wishing I could stop you
But I'm arrogant, speechless, stubborn..
I don't know what to say or what to do

Our conversations starts with hello, next sentence is ok, and then you gone...

This is the end of our fabulous friendship
The flirting is over
I'm not here, you are not here.

Standing still everything has come to a holt

The last of a gay friendship

a Squeeze

Life was pushing, pulling at me

I first backed off
Don't like fighting or Being negative

Realised that wasn't the solution

So...

I thought ahead of what will catch up to me next
And tackled it head on
Actually looking for a fight

So, did I get a fight?
No
Am I still as much under pressure as before,?
No

Lesson: If you feeling squeezed, squeeze back...
Go look for the fight, instead of waiting for it

Smokey rooms

Today, it feels like I'm sitting in a dark room consumed by thick dark smoke
I'm sure this room is sound proof
I'm it must be as biggery than 10000 hectare

I'm running in one direction,  but yet I'm not making progress
I'm screaming at the top of my lungs,but there is no sound coming out

I'm all alone

This smoke is making me anguish
But I'm not choking
I want to move forward but its holding me back

This is cruel

I'm not sure how long I can hang on in this life
How long I would want to be alive

My life is nothing more than a room filled with smoke

May progress

Life is moving on, slowly,  but surely

I have received my car back
Did my first road race for the year
Busy with exams

Getting to know a different side of me

I am someone that can start a conversation with any one and keep it going.
Only realised this in this week
I have the ability to read something ones and remember it flawlessly
Only realised this while I was busy cramming

Thinking, contemplating to push myself towards doing ironman...
I know if I exercise, I will be able to make it

Planning my future
Studying myself confused
Running that it sounds my lungs are giving in

May has been huge progession